Meaghan + Scott

No, I am seriously not even thinking about cakes right now, but I was directed to a blog yesterday called Cake Wrecks which I was promised would be hilarious. It’s a blog about professionally made cakes that are absolute disasters. I mean, some of them are really awesome and you can tell someone put a lot of time into them, but they’re still totally weird (Example: A cake made to look like a realistic baby. Who would want to cut that? And eat it?!). And some of them are cakes that I can’t believe people actually paid for, they were that bad.

Anyway, I found this post about a wedding cake.

This is a picture of the cake that the woman brought for the baker to recreate:

It’s a nice looking cake. Well made. I’m not really into the plaid but I guess that’s what she wanted.

This is the cake the baker presented her with:

Uh?

My question is: Why did she actually put that out at her reception? She couldn’t get a pre-made cake from somewhere else at the last minute? Or did she think it’s as hilarious as I do?

Here’s the post on Cake Wrecks, and here’s the original post.

We have finally set a date and have booked the site for our wedding and reception! We decided against July 4th, because despite having the extra day off, some people probably don’t want to travel on a holiday weekend. And it was kind of gimmicky. Then the next weekend was July 11th, which would be 7-11, which reminds me of the convenience store, so no (no need to tell me I’m ridiculous, I already know). So we set the date for the next weekend, which is July 18th, 2009. Mark it on your calendars, folks.

The site that we ended up choosing was the Barn at Valhalla in Chapel Hill. It’s gorgeous and perfect and many other positive adjectives, and I’m so excited! Here’s the address:

9423 Charles Ln
Chapel Hill, NC 27516

I’ll also post the address under the “The Wedding” page so that you won’t have to dig around to find it in the future.

So, that’s one thing to cross off the list. I’m so glad I got at least one thing finished on time!

So, Scott and I had set a tentative date for June 20th, 2009, but I’m going to have to take a Spanish class that doesn’t end until June 24th. And I don’t want to get married while I’m still in school. And then we were thinking about June 27th, but do I really want to get married the same week I’m taking exams? No, too stressful. So we thought about the NEXT weekend, which happens to be July 4th.

My question is; do you think that’s a good idea? I mean, it’s definitely a memorable date, and everyone who is coming in from out of town will have a day off of work that they could use to travel. And we could have fireworks! And nothing goes better with fireworks than barbecue. But then again, a lot of people like to go to the beach and things like that on July 4th, and I don’t want to mess up anyone’s plans. (Even though my wedding is going to be more awesome than anything else. Just saying.) And who knows if the owner of the reception site will even let us have fireworks?

So, there are the pros and cons. If you can think of any more, let me know. And tell me what you think!

And no, I wouldn’t change the wedding colors to red, white, and blue.

Meaghan and I have someone in mind to perform our wedding ceremony, but they’re not an ordained minister. (We want to have someone we know, and neither of us are interested in a religious service.) The laws about who can perform a marriage vary state by state — I’m performing a wedding for friends in Maryland this weekend by the power vested in me by an Internet church, but the laws in North Carolina are a bit more strict.

I was chatting with my younger brother this evening while I was driving home, and he thought it might be legal for a notary public to perform a wedding. He did a little bit of the Google, and came up with this:

In North Carolina is it legal for a notary public to marry someone? - Yahoo! Answers

I don’t think anywhere in America are notary publics required to stay single. Like anyone else, if they fall in love with someone, they’re allowed to marry.

Internet saves the day again. (And no, a notary public can’t perform a wedding. We already know how we’re going to work around all of this.)

Ben Moser made my week.

If she loves you enough to take your picture when you’re in that getup, that’s considerable. If she loves you enough to pose for a picture with you in that getup, that’s remarkable. If she loves you enough to pose for a picture with you in that getup and then posts said picture online in a place her friends are most definitely going to see it, then you hold on tight and never let go. You marry her.

Ain’t that the g.d. truth.

She says this is way too redneck. She’s right, but you can’t say a redneck never had a good idea.

Fingers crossed, y’all.

If you don’t know me very well, you should know that I love barbecue. Like, for serious. I’d be willing to wager that I have the only offset barrel barbecue rig on the entire island of Manhattan, which I stubbornly brought with me from North Carolina. I believe in Lexington-style barbecue, shoulder only, cooked low and slow for twelve hours or more, over hardwood charcoal and hickory or oak, served with homemade South Carolina-style sauce. Oh, and my personalized license plate is LOWNSLOW.

Naturally, I want barbecue at my wedding, and all the stakeholders and decision makers seem amenable to that. My first thought was to get catering from the best barbecue joint in the world, Lexington Barbecue in Lexington, NC. But that’s a good 90 minutes from the current choice of venue, and I imagine it’d be tough to transport that much food that far, and expensive to have them cater an event so far away. I figured I could settle for Dillard’s in Durham, which is a close second and a bit more practical. (Plus, they have a killer carrot soufflé that you have to try to believe.) And then I had the stupidest idea I’ll have for this wedding.

Why can’t I barbecue? I’ve never barbecued for a crowd that large, but definitely at least half that size, and barbecue is very scalable. The venue I hope we land would be perfect for this, we’d be spending the night there the night before, and there’s a big side lawn for the rig and the men who’d surely be drawn to this activity. I’d have to get up around 6am on my wedding day to get it started, could be back in bed for catnaps in about an hour, and everything would be ready by 6pm.

Throughout the day, I’d sit out with the barbecue and relax and hang out with my wedding party and tend the fire. My little brother and best man has the same barbecue pit I do, so he’d be able to assist and take over if my presence were required elsewhere. Meaghan could have the upstairs of the venue all to herself for her stuff, and we’re not going to do the sequestering thing until she puts her dress on. I’ll be out in the yard until it’s time to put the tuxedo on, one more quick check of the barbecue (how great will that photo be?) and then a short walk to get married.

This is clearly a stupid idea, but it’s very tempting. The only trick is finding a big enough rig to borrow or rent and haul out there, and praying it doesn’t rain. (But we’re praying for that either way.) Barbecuing is my favorite way to relax and my favorite way to show off, which I’ll enjoy in equal measure on my wedding day.

But I don’t do side dishes.

So, I know we were planning on using our iPods for the wedding reception, but as I was driving back from the airport this morning, I remembered that I had a really cool lecturer a few semesters ago at UNCG whose band played a lot of weddings in the area. His name is Chuck Folds (he’s Ben Folds’ brother), and his band is Rubberband, which you can check out here and here. I saw his children’s band Big Bang Boom a few months ago at Ben & Jerry’s Free Cone Day, and they were really good. They have a great energy and they really get the crowd involved and I think they’d be perfect for our reception (even though we’d have to get them to learn a few Journey songs). But I have no idea if it’s in our budget. Hopefully he’ll remember that I was a perfect A+ student and take it easy on me.

Other news that I can’t really share until it’s official:
1. We’ve picked the ceremony and reception site, but we haven’t booked it quite yet. I’ll let you know when we do.
2. We’ve found the perfect photographer, but we haven’t booked him yet either. I’m really excited though!

After a meeting this morning, a few of us were sitting around shooting the breeze and one of the guys told a story about how his wife being with him at a business conference and being totally delightful did wonders for him with a potential client. He’s been married for 32 years. My boss had been married for four, and the other guy for two. I let slip that I got engaged on Monday, because I’m super excited, and there were handshakes and claps on the back and then - so, how’s the wedding planning?

Eventually, I’m going to have to admit this: I’m more than a little bit of a woman about my wedding. Once I brought up the details that I’m already involved in, the other guys were surprised - each of them in turn basically said that they had nothing to do with anything, and just showed up in the end in a tuxedo. That won’t be my style. Sure, there are some things I honestly don’t care about (colors? decorations? favors? place settings? invitations, announcements? whatever you’d like, dear), but there are a few things I’ve imagined and want to have. Of course, this is Meaghan’s day, but I’d like to be more than the guy who happens by at the right time in the right outfit. And I’m very lucky that our tastes have meshed completely to this point. And I’m knocking very hard on my wooden desk.

I’m not going to miss a single opportunity to indict the “wedding culture” that preys on vulnerable and emotional people and tries to guilt them into spending more money than they need to. These are my funeral plans: when I die, I want to be cremated and placed in an unremarkable receptacle, and I want those who survived me to put some pictures up and throw a party and celebrate what a unique and incredible human being I was. Please don’t involve a funeral home for anything more than what’s necessary with the cremation. I don’t care what you do with the ashes. (Throwing them at people who annoyed me in my life is one option.) I won’t be guilted into buying more than than I need to for this wedding, as long as I get what I need.

I’m cheap. I only say this because I’m sure I’ll admit it. And for certain parts of this wedding, I’m willing and anxious to go cheap as possible. We’re not hiring a DJ, we’re going to take the time to personalize our playlists and hook up our iPods. As far as decorations and centerpieces and whatnot, I’m more than willing to get involved in a DIY project. We haven’t talked about catering yet, but if I have my way, we’ll get trays of barbecue from Lexington Barbecue and help ourselves, and haul our own booze in and pay a friend or two with catering experience to bartend and keep things straight. There’s no need to go overboard with some of these details, they’re not going to be the lasting impression.

I shouldn’t say I’m cheap, because I’m willing to pay for the things that are going to last and make it seem like we paid a lot more than we actually did. The venue we’re working on is gorgeous and perfect and an incredible value, and here I am pounding on my wooden desk one more time. If we get it, we’ll be able to stage a wedding that looks like we spent a foreign sports car, when we’re trying to keep it to a domestic subcompact.

I want to look better than I ever will again in my life on my wedding day. That’s why Operation Epic Diet is back in full effect, and that why I’m going to be very picky about my tuxedo. I’m going to shop around and do my best to haggle, but in the end, I’ll pay a bit more to look perfect. And I imagine Meaghan feels the same way about her dress, although it’s much more challenging to be frugal and uncompromising with a wedding dress.

After the party’s over, the only thing we’ll have left is the pictures. And that’s why I’d be willing to spend more for a talented photographer whose portfolio makes me excited. There’s so much more to photography than equipment and lighting, and a gifted photographer is always an excellent value. After all, I’m never going to look this good again - the minute after the tux comes off, I’m a married man. My brother showed me what that looks like.

Yes, this is still totally Meaghan’s day. But she knew what she was getting into when she invited me.